The morning of the exorcism, February 14, 2019, I ensured all of the humans were out of the house except me. The dogs stayed because, well, they are dogs and the demon(s) might need a snack (better the dogs than me). I assembled the tools of the exorcism in one location, the coffee table: A fully charged EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomena) recorder, Rites of Exorcism (downloaded onto cellphone), Holy Water, Kosher Salt, five silver crucifixes from Italy (to be blessed during the exorcism), shovel, and blessed crucifix. Exorcisms are dangerous, even when you are performing one on a house and you should never do one by yourself. I performed this exorcism by myself. I was an idiot. The audio and my story show why. I should have had an assistant.
After turning on the recorder, announcing the date, time and lone participant (idiot) I began with the Prayer of Exorcism. Picking up the Holy Water, Crucifixes and phone (which has the Rites of Exorcism on it) I went outside into what was now a howling wind. There had been no wind before, just an eight degree temperature, leaving the EVP recorder running in the center of the house, laying on its back in the Master Bedroom, the hotspot in the house, where people had been pinned down, where the Demon Hour had brought activity at 3:00am, with the room being darker than the inside of a cow, blacker than black and more. While outside planting four crucifixes, one at each corner of the house, a few inches down, the Rites of Exorcism said over the crucifix, while sprinkling it with Holy Water, burying it and repeating the Rites of Exorcism. Inside the house I could hear the dogs barking, going crazy and basically not being happy. There were other sounds but because of the now howling wind I couldn’t make them out. I knew no one was inside, so I couldn’t wait to review the EVP recorder. Upon completing my work with the four crosses outside, which included being shoved from behind, twice, down two sets of icy stairs, while hearing growling, and replying, “Mother Fucker show yourself. Don’t be a little demon pussy”. I entered the house and put the fifth cross in the center of the house, using the same ritual, then picking up the EVP Recorder, stopping the recording and listening to recording from when I was outside. I was shocked to hear growling, not from the dogs but from demons, hissing and howling, as if the demons where suffering. Good. I hope it hurt like cancer. I had work to do. I fired up the EVP Recorder, sat it on the coffee table in the living room and began to seal each window and door with Holy Water, while using the Rites of Exorcism.
I didn’t hear anything while doing this task, but the dogs barked and howled. I knew I was not alone and was probably pissing off whatever was still here. Upon using the Holy Water to seal the doors and windows, along with the Rites of Exorcism I still had more work to do. Gathering the blessed, Kosher Salt, I went outside to seal the exterior of the house. As I sealed the doors, windows and entire perimeter of the home, with the EVP Recorder running inside the house, on the coffee table, I could hear the demon(s) putting up a fight inside, screams, howls, hisses and when I got to the back of the house where the trapdoor to the basement is, I found it dislodge. The trapdoor had not been dislodged when I put the crosses in. I began to read the Rites of Exorcism and apply Holy Water when a “BOOM” came from under the house. As I spread Kosher Salt into the opening a louder “BOOM” came from the opening, shaking the house. With a kick I closed the door and yelled a religious, “FUCK YOU”. Keep in mind I’m a pastor, so this is approved for exorcisms, after all, these demonic bastards had tried to shove me down two icy flights of stairs. Kiss my ass.
Entering the house, I found the dogs cuddled on the sofa together, shivering. The house was warm. Apparently, the loud noises scared the dogs. Looking at the coffee table I noticed the EVP Recorder had been moved or I should say thrown. It was across the table, on its side, the back off. Interesting. It was still recording so I left it alone and continued with the Kosher Salt throughout the house. However, the former street thug, ex-cop side of me came out, I was pissed and as I went through the house, the next forty five minutes you can hear me saying things like, “You demonic fucks, how dare you….show yourselves, don’t be pussies, manifest yourself so I can take a fucking bat to you, chickenshit bastards…”
Upon completion of this portion of the sealing of the house, the angry, psychotic portion, I gathered my composure, put the EVP Recorder back together and went room to room reciting the Rites of Exorcism. Upon completion, I said one final prayer over the house and people, asking for the protection of God, the Saints, the Angels and thanking them for their protection and guidance. With three hours of recordings to go through it was an adventure, with the howling, hissing booms and more. There has been no more demonic activity. The exorcism was a success. Thank you Lord.
Bill Turner – Leader, The Apparition Mission
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